The perfect Mother’s Day game plan for dads who want to knock it out of the park this year

It’s that time again, folks – time to let your moms (and the moms of your kids) know how much you love them.

Don’t be afraid! Mother’s Day isn’t until next weekend, May 10. But I thought I’d give you our annual Mother’s Day Gift Guide now… you know, just in case you were thinking of waiting until the last minute. Or worse, (gasp!) forget about the vacation altogether.

You wouldn’t, I know.

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For those new here, welcome. I’m Amber, and I write a column called The woman explained on OutKick, where I give men a woman’s perspective on everything from dating and relationships to sex, marriage, and sometimes even celebrity romance drama or whatever nonsense is available on social media that week. Nothing is forbidden. We are honest, respectful, and have fun here.

This column isn’t just for boys, though. Gentlemen, you are welcome – encouraged, in fact – to come in and share your two cents. Collaboration makes the dream work, baby!

At least, that’s what the poster in my nephew’s kindergarten class says.

So with those sweet songs out of the way, let’s get into how you guys can knock Mother’s Day 2026 out of the park.

A surprising consensus: mom needs a break

I will preface this by saying that these suggestions are not just my random ramblings. They are based on solid, scientific data. (Translation: I polled thousands of moms via Facebook, Reddit and in real life over the past three years writing this column.)

Guys, the results are in. And it is certain.

I will save you a lot of time here. You don’t need to overthink this. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel. No need to panic—you made a random purchase at CVS at 9:47 pm on a Saturday night.

God, please don’t do that.

Because when I ask moms what they really want for Mother’s Day, the answer is almost ridiculously similar: Relaxation. Silence. A day when they are literally responsible for nothing.

Motherhood is a beautiful and honorable calling. It’s also frustrating – especially for moms “in the trenches” with babies and toddlers who need something every 3.5 seconds.

And no, this does not mean that grandmothers and mothers of grown children do not deserve to be celebrated. They absolutely did. But dads, if your wife wipes her butt, packs her lunch, answers 47 questions before 8 a.m. and hasn’t sat quietly since 2019… she doesn’t want to book a chaotic brunch while she’s still holding the kids. And he doesn’t want to cook at all.

As one mother told me, she wants “a day where I make empty decisions.”

Another said he thought heaven was “waking up in a spotless house with the smell of bacon.”

Guys, I think we’re seeing a pattern here.

Mother’s Day Father’s Day checklist

The good news is that you don’t have to rush to book a luxury vacation or drop three months’ salary on diamonds. Although I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that, either.

But it’s really very easy.

Plan for the whole day: Emphasis on complete. Not “what do you want to do?” Not “where should we eat?” He doesn’t have to use a single brain cell today.

You are now in charge of the children: All day. Start to finish. Food, snacks, clothing, sunscreen, thawing – it’s your time to bloom, Dad.

Handle food: Breakfast, lunch and dinner. It’s all up to you, whether you’re cooking, shopping or ordering.

Give him alone time: Real time alone. Not “I’m going to take the kids for 20 minutes while you shower.” We talk for hours. A little sleep. Bathing. There was silence. Maybe even schedule a full day where he does whatever he wants with no strings attached.

Clean the house: Or better yet, hire someone to do it. And not just a quick fix. I’m talking deep clean – boards, bathrooms, everything. Year after year, this is one of the most requested “gifts” I hear from moms.

If you do all these things, you will have a great day. If you’re looking for gift ideas, too, the next section is for you.

Here’s what women really want on Mother’s Day

Those who have studied Womansplaining for some time know that flowers are non-negotiable for special occasions – birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day and, of course, Mother’s Day.

Ladies love flowers.

I don’t care how many times a woman tells you, “Oh, you don’t need to get me flowers. They just die anyway.”

They lied. It tries to calm you down.

I mean, some women like flowers more than others. But no woman will ever be upset that her man walks in the front door with a smile and a fresh bouquet of flowers. That’s a freebie. An undisputed lay up. Get drunk.

But if you’re ready to go beyond that, buckle up. Because I have gift ideas too.

MAN’S FOOLPROOF GUIDE TO NOT MISSING VALENTINE’S DAY

Something touching: A handwritten card from you telling her how much you love her. A note from the children telling her that she is the best mother in the whole world. Something that lets you know how important you are to your family.

Example: Decades ago, my mother bought my grandmother a mother’s ring with small birthstones for all six of her children. Until the day she died, my grandmother never took off that ring.

Another example from reader Carol C.: “My son-in-law planned to take pictures of my daughters, my granddaughters, my mother and me. Four generations of women. My mother is gone now, and I’m so thankful that I have these pictures, I look at them every day.”

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

A gift that supports her passions outside of motherhood: This came up many times. Exercise classes, hiking gear, garden supplies, books, skin care, anything she fits in without raising little people.

Gift card for a spa day or mani/pedi: I know that gift cards get a bad rap for being impersonal, but I also know that most men don’t know anything about the services offered at a spa. Does she want a massage (Swedish or deep-tissue?), facial (HydraFacial, chemical peel, anti-aging?) or special treatment (like hot stones, lymphatic drainage or microdermabrasion?) For her nails, do you like gel or dip? If you don’t know what most of those words mean, your best bet is a gift card to a great spa – that way she can choose her own trip.

If you look around, many spas offer packages for special occasions like Mother’s Day.

For example, I go to Woodhouse Spa near my house in Tennessee (but they have locations in 25 different states), and if you buy a $250 gift card, you get a free luxury skin care set. Folks, think of the brownie points you’ll get.

A glass of champagne in the Woodhouse Spa salt room will heal whatever ails you. (Amber Harding)

“Treat” self-care that she can’t buy herself:

• Plush, spa-style bathroom
• Nice slippers
• Designer bag
• High-waisted pajamas (Yes, that’s just the thing. Try Eberjay, Cozy Earth, Lunya or Chibi)
• Manta Sleeping Mask (I wear mine every night.)
• A comfortable weighted blanket
• Get the details of his car. Or specify yourself if you’re on a budget.

I’ve had several women tell me they wanted Botox as a gift. There is a very important caveat there, however. Do not, under any circumstances, buy your wife Botox unless she has asked for it specifically, clearly. The same goes for exercise equipment.

A night in a hotel alone: I swear women shout this every year, and every year, male readers email me to tell me it’s dumb. But I’m telling you guys. If you have small children at home (or even volatile teenagers), your wife will lose her mind from the excitement of staying at a local hotel by herself. Let her sleep in, order room service and watch dirty reality TV in a fancy dress without a single distraction.

If you really want to knock his socks off, prepare a little basket for him to take with him at night: a book/magazine, a bottle of wine, a bath bomb, his favorite snacks, a sleep mask. My goodness.

Of course, this hotel stay away from his children does not have to be on Mother’s Day. Schedule it the night before, the following weekend, whatever makes sense for your schedule.

Just my two cents, but if you book her a hotel room on Saturday night and she comes home to a pre-made dinner in a clean house on Mother’s Day… let’s just say you might end up having another baby in about nine months.

Some friendly reminders (ie, how not to hide this)

I gave you a game plan. Now let’s make sure you don’t miss the goal line.

If you have small children, this is for you. They can’t plan a date. They can’t cook breakfast. They can’t drive to Target. You are all work.

Yes, celebrate your mother – but don’t forget your wife. Your mother will be happy with a phone call, a card, flowers, food, time with her family. And he should get those things! The mother of your children – who is busy in the trenches – deserves to be printed by the full court.

Don’t take him to another place, it’s still “mom.” If you drag him into the family cookout where he’s chasing after the kids, preparing food and cleaning up while manning the grill with beer… you’ve completely missed the point.

This could be you if you follow my Guide to Complaining Mother’s Day. (Getty Stock Photo: Povozniuk)

“Don’t buy him anything he has to plug.” A reader named Bruce shared this bit of wisdom with me last year, and now I’m including it in every Womansplaining gift guide. Of course, there are exceptions to everything. But in general, this is a very good rule to follow. Home appliances, cooking gadgets, vacuum cleaners… these are not thoughtful gifts. They are chores.

And a final reminder: this is not an attack on you, fathers. I think he is a good father. I think you are pulling your weight. But my scientific research (again, thousands of moms) has made one thing abundantly clear: Mom needs a break. He longs for rest and pampering.

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Mother’s Day is your chance to give her just that.

I have set the plan. I made it easy for you. It’s up to you to take it out. And remember, your due date is next month.