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Most people have heard of the Irish farewell, which involves sneaking out, which can be announced by someone during the ceremony. It turns out that American-based regional exits often play out at the end of the meal – and quite the opposite.
“Midwest goodbye” is less about travel and more about how long it takes to get out the door.
What starts as a simple attempt to get home can turn into a long process filled with hugs, small talk and repeated attempts to get out even though the rest is pushed to the person leaving.
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The word has become a cultural shorthand for the long, popular goodbye common throughout the Midwest and is sometimes even referred to as the “Minnesota goodbye,” reflecting the region’s reputation for generous hospitality and food that’s hard to turn down.
Much of it involves “doorstepping,” according to the Chicago Tribune. “We spend a lot of time standing in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob, resisting the remnants, hugging, promising to come back, resisting the remnants and, listening to another story, we can’t get them out,” a source said in the 2022 episode.
Unlike the Irish farewell, the Midwest’s version of the exit ceremony is known to be long and drawn out. (Stock)
Comedian Charlie Berens is also famous for this practice, joking that it can be broken down into visible steps.
It starts with a knee strike and you say, “Welp, I s’pose” to indicate that one is about to leave, Berens said in the 2023 comedy special, using a thick Midwestern drawl.
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From there, the process continues: Guests stand up, search for their coats, exchange hugs and are returned to the conversation.
Even reaching the door does not guarantee exit – as conversations can continue, sometimes changing to the entrance or even after the car has been started. “Whatever you do, don’t roll your window down,” Berens joked.
“Midwest goodbyes” often involve multiple attempts to leave the party before you even make it out the door. (Stock)
The long-drawn-out farewell was quickly noticed by many online as well.
In a recent Reddit discussion among Wisconsin natives, commenters traded stories on how long the Midwest’s farewell could last.
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“My niece was visiting and she said, ‘Well, I think I should go,'” said one person. “This was at 11:50 am and he sat the entire Packers game.”
The person added, “This is the best Wisconsin goodbye one can have.”
“Goodbye in the Midwest is the purest symbol of comfort, joy and care when it comes to stepping out of public space.”
Some describe this ritual as almost impossible to disrupt.
“One can’t just say goodbye to the Midwest. The only way out,” one user wrote.
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Some people say that using the Irish goodbye is the only way to avoid it.
Additional food offerings and leftovers often extend the “Midwest goodbye.” (Stock)
“The way to say goodbye to the Midwest is, at its heart, a bear hug for whatever time is left,” noted a Tribune article.
Pulling out shows something deeper than habit, agreed Richie Frieman, a Baltimore-based author and ethics expert known as “The Modern Manners Guy.”
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“Farewell in the Midwest is a pure symbol of comfort, joy and care when it comes to leaving the social scene,” Frieman told Fox News Digital.
It is a sign of respect, he said. “Does it take longer than just wandering around a room of people from the door? Yes. But is it the kindest way to show one’s appreciation for the invitation and the work done on it? Yes, again.”
Experts say planning ahead and keeping interactions short can help shorten “goodbye to the Midwest.” (Stock)
Of course, it can be “tiring,” notes Frieman.
For those hoping to get away with their next Midwest dinner party without seeming rude, he said the key is to be intentional.
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“The most polite way to shorten goodbyes in the Midwest is A, plan ahead because you know it’s going to take a long time, and B, set a mental clock for each engagement,” he said.
Overall, Frieman advises, “It’s best to read the room and do your best to get it out before the host vacuums it up.”
